Build Self Esteem: The First Step Toward True Self Development
If you are interested in self development but have low self esteem, the first thing you need to do is fix that.
Until you do, it is difficult to accurately assess what you need to learn and to change in order to achieve your life goals.
In fact, if you have low self esteem it may be difficult to even see what your goals are. You may not even believe that you deserve more.
To protect and improve your self esteem, ‘Stand Guard At The Door Of Your Mind!’
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You need to know that just because someone says something about you or criticizes you doesn’t mean that it has any merit at all or has any truth to it. Trust in yourself. You get to choose how you respond… or Not.
These negative people can destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you may not even be conscious of. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. Brush them off.
Learn how to avoid them or at least ignore them, because how they act or talk is mostly about them, not you. Don’t make someone else’s problem yours.
So, how can you keep them from hurting you?
Negative Work Environment
Beware that there is a “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. You may find you are working harder and harder for less and less return.
Stay out of this, it can lower your self esteem. Find ways to manage your work within the normal working day at least 90% of the time. If you have to compete with others, compete on your own terms. Do not be drawn into power games or negative behavior that will make you feel badly about yourself.
Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers … all this negative behavior in others has the potential to damage your self esteem, as well as to hinder your self development program. But remember, it is not the person that is the problem: it is their behavior.
Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms our beliefs about how things work. They test our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while and often cause stress, but when we look back we will see that change is often the catalyst or cause of self development. Try not to resist it. Be flexible and flow with it.
Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear by constantly thinking of the bad things that have happened to you or others in the past.
It’s easy to wreck a relationship by bringing with you the issues you had in your last relationship, and expecting your new partner to be like your previous one. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson, and move on from there.
Negative World View
Take a hard look at what you’re focusing on. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. There is always something bad going on somewhere. Choose to focus on the good wherever you can. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations in our environment.
Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits, your upbringing, and your current environment such as your friends, your work situation, the economy and even the climate of the country that you live in.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that your genetics or upbringing will determine how your life goes. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
In life, its hard to stay firm, especially when things and people around you seem to keep pulling you down. However, building self esteem will eventually lead to self development if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do.
When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. You are not a copy, you are truly unique, and as such your personal potential is limitless.
So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem?
Act positive. Act contented and happy. Act appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment a good behavior, especially within yourself. 🙂 A positive way of thinking will help you build self esteem and set you on the path to positive self development.