Negative Self Talk. How you communicate with yourself, in effect the relationship you have with yourself can doom your dreams and goals before you can gain momentum towards making them happen.
Self Talk can be one of the toughest habits to change or to discipline. Most of the conversations we have with ourselves are habitual.
What you say to yourself today is most likely the same or similar to the conversations you had yesterday and previous to that.
Let’s face it. We like to believe what we are saying. After all who knows us better than we do, we have ‘been’ there every time something didn’t work out.
We have the hard physical evidence and emotional baggage of our past failures, and we bring them all forward into our present.
We tend to become extemely comfortable with the way we see ourselves, although it is not always beneficial in the achievement of our goals.
With me it was definitely habitual. Habitually negative. And always based on some deep seated failure in my past. Let’s face it, I have failed many times, and some of those caused huge pain for me.
I have tried many things in my life, and they do not always go the way I planned them. That’s for sure.
Every time I go for it, this little voice inside me says,
“Who do you think you are? Others more powerful than you have failed at this. What makes you think that you have what it takes? Why do you think you can succeed this time where others have failed miserably? What Makes You Think That You Can Do It?”
And so on and so on …..
But the past does not have to equal the future.
Just because I have failed in the past, even as recent as yesterday, doesn’t mean I don’t have new information today that will make the difference and help me succeed this time around.
That goes for you too.
We have a whole day’s experiences and teachings under our belt that we can use to our advantage, that we did not have access to before this day.
I still work on this constantly, but three things I now do when this tiny (but powerful) voice shows up are:
1. Realize that this voice is there to protect me, and understand it’s good intention. Sometimes I need to evaluate a decision further. It is important to note the voice, and deal with it. Ask yourself if there is any merit in what the little voice is saying.
If not based in reality, overpower the negative, crowd it out of your mind with a positive statement which directly contradicts it. And affirmations are great here.
2. Usually there is no justification in what it’s saying or asking, it is just my imagination creating a negative reality with no basis in fact. Therefore I can ask myself a question which takes my focus back to where I want it to be.
It helps me that I have a barrage of power questions made up ahead, and practiced in order to have the right one ready for the situation.
3. I change my physical posture to preplanned position of power, which will force my mind to focus on a powerful new thought, and place me in a resourceful state where I am more confident.
Like I stated before I haven’t perfected this by any stretch, but I now have an arsenal of tools which I use to propel me past the negative that jumps in uninvited. I have prepared in advance to deal with the more habitual thoughts that have limited me for too long.
I manage my state so that it sets my focus back where it needs to be for me to effectively pursue my ambitions. Usually, self talk is more damaging when we allow our focus and physical state (energy) to deteriorate and we lose control.
When we focus on powerful positive states, when we are passionately engrossed in activity towards our goals, we tend to enter positive self talks with ourselves and block out the negative.
Bottom line, the main solution is to believe in our abilities, to manage and control our states, our focus, our energy supply, and our distractions.
Like the boy scouts motto, ‘Be Prepared.’
Well, I’ve gone on and on. These are supposed to be short and to the point, and I got carried away once again.
See you next time. Go For It!
P.S. And if this is you . . . . . STOP WHINING or listening to someone else whining! It does affect your attitude, big time. The negative chatter that many people use as small talk during the day can enter your mind via your subconscious, and literally kill your positive momentum. Avoid others’ negative small talk chatter or whining that undermines your power.